Grief

* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
* Anger (why is this happening to me?)
* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
* Depression (I don't care anymore)
* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)


Above, is a list of the widely accepted stages of grief as defined by Elizabeth Kubler- Ross.



Dr. Roberta Temes goes on to describe three types of behavior recognizable in those who are dealing with grief and loss.

* Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)
* Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss)
* Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)


Where do our kids currently find themselves on the spectrum?

Where do we currently find ourselves?

Has there been growth?

Has there been healing?

Be encouraged.

Get A Life

That sounds rude, doesn't it? I mean it in the best most kindest, most sisterly-motherly -girlfriendily....most encouraging way possible.

Dealing with attachment (whatever stage we're in...however far along we've come or not come)...can be all consuming. It can occupy our every waking moment. Our every thought. Our every decision.

I know how tempting it is to make all of life be all about this one thing.

Do not allow yourself to do it.

Get a hobby. Pick up an interest. Paint, sew, cook, exercise, read, work with yarn, work with beads, study, sing, dance, rent some films, travel, snap photos, blog about other things...our choices are endless.

But....without doubt.... we must choose to remove attachment work from the high and almighty royal throne on which it sometimes likes to plop it's I reign above all things stinkin' fat ass.

PTSD

It is often said all kids with attachment issues have PTSD, but not all kids with PTSD have attachment disorders. We have a RADish. She is textbook. But we also have another daughter that came home through adoption who does not seem to struggle with attachment. What she does seem to show are signs of PTSD. Most of the time, she is happy, joyful, obedient. But then.... something triggers her little heart and wham! She spirals into lock-down mode. Interesting observations:

~she will not cry. she will yell and scream. but she won't cry.

~all instruction and discipline is completely ineffective and escalates the situation. *when not in this place, she responds "typically"

~accidents. floors. beds. awake & asleep

~does not sleep well or for long

~triggers are impossible to ID

Doing lots and lots of research over here. Maybe you are seeing some challenging behaviors but don't feel like it is RAD. Maybe you are dealing with PTSD. It is very hard to ID in kiddos especially if the loss was pre-verbal. Here are some websites that may be helpful. But as with anything, don't wait until you want to quit to get help. Just got Krill's book in the mail. It is the first book I found addressing this in kiddos. I'll let you know how it is when I get through it. :)

A4everfamily

Dr. Krill

Kid's Prayer Request

I have been angry with God. I have used his name in vain and I have mocked Him. I admit it was totally a bad example and not only that but it was also wrong. I was worried that He wouldn't forgive me for that, but my Mom explained that my version of God is obviously little. It hit me as true. I was making up a little God when the real God is so big. I am writing about this because I am a Christian who needs prayer about the Lord having Lordship over me. My understanding of the Lord is that he is a Saviour but I don't know if I understand the true meaning of Lordship. I have been angry with God for the last 10 years. I've been processing my history in a negative way instead of a positive way. I have been dwelling on the negatives and that has made me bitter. It is hard to allow the Lord to have Lordship over me when I haven't been trusting Him. I've realized that I haven't allowed Him to work through me. The bottom line is that I need to let the Lord renew my mind. Specifically, I need prayer for allowing myself to trust.

Art Imitating Life

Can anyone else relate?

Lord, Come Quickly!

I am absolutely convinced more than ever that the living Lord of the universe must interrupt hearts for true healing to take place. It is our job as parents to prepare the soil. To plant seeds. To water. To nurture. To prune.

Oh, that we would each be given a glimpse this week of what is possible....so that we would not be tempted to faint.

Lord, please reveal Yourself amidst our struggles.

Thank You..... for how You have and are revealing Yourself already.